Welcome to the Liar’s Den

Like all successful billionaires, we constantly get falsely accused of every kind of evil, deceitful act by lots of sleazy tabloids, like these:

Polluter Watch


These guys wouldn’t know a free-market principle if it hit them in the head. Collectivists through and through – insisting that industries like ours have an obligation to sacrifice our hard-earned profits so the 47% can breathe clean air and drink clean water. This violates every Objectivist principle – the basis of our Libertarian values.             

Rolling Stone

Inside the Koch Brothers' Toxic Empire | Rolling Stone

Koch Industries Responds – And We Return the Favor

Don’t read this – move along! Nothing to see here!


Climate of Doubt

Not content to inflict Big Bird on the world, PBS belches a ton of hot air on climate change, and how our good friends at Americans for Prosperity intimidated Republicans into denying that humans are causing climate change. They also attack us for funneling hundreds of millions of dollars through Donor’s Trust so that no one can tell who is paying for all the “denial” and “disinformation”. Do they attack Apple for charging hundreds of millions for those silly little phones? No – they applaud Steve Jobs for his “reality distortion field”, and then criticize us for exactly the same thing!

Scientific American

"Dark Money" Funds Climate Change Denial Effort

First, please understand that while we both have graduate degrees in chemical engineering from M.I.T., we like to say that we are not scientists. Our attorneys have advised us not to pretend we don’t understand the science behind climate change, so we leave it to front groups we have established like-minded civic groups to deny the science. (Thanks guys – the checks are in the mail!)
We also really like it when Republican Congressmen say that THEY are not scientists, so we have secretly spent a boatload of money and gone to great lengths to guarantee that they all do exactly that. For some reason, Scientific American has a problem with our methods, probably out of professional envy. Scientists have always had an inferiority complex when it comes to engineers from M.I.T.


GOP's frightening plan to melt the planet: Koch $, burning fossil fuel, and junk science

Come ON!!! These guys are vile liberal collectivist altruistic whiners. We won the election, didn’t we? So we now have a mandate to do the two most important things on all Americans’ minds: Build Keystone XL, and dismantle the EPA.
Elections have consequences, and the Greedy Old Pollutocrat party now controls both the Senate and the House. If that means people get exposed to a lot more arsenic, formaldehyde, benzene, asbestos and climate change, so what? There will always be safe places for high-value individuals like us. Anyway, most of the people affected by this kind of pollution live in poor neighborhoods – as people with no economic value should.

The New Yorker

Koch Pledge Tied to Congressional Climate Inaction

Aren’t you getting tired of reading this nonsense? The New Yorker has had it in for us since our father Fred and the rest of the John Birch Society accused Eisenhower of being a Communist. We’ve always been in favor of every kind of congressional inaction, except for approving Keystone XL, subsidizing fossil fuels, eliminating unions, attending secret Koch retreats, and maybe one or two other things. http://www.pfaw.org/media-center/publications/anatomy-koch-thon-sham-budget-hearings-brought-you-koch-brothers